How To Toot Your Own Horn Without Being Annoying

To toot or not to toot?

Despite the fact that a little bragging is often necessary for employers to notice how well an individual employee is doing, it’s true that no one likes a braggart.

But to never toot one’s horn and bring up one’s personal accomplishments can often be just as damaging, especially in the typical office environment.

Everyone around you is just as keen to get noticed (and possibly promoted) for their successes as you are, but some are simply better at bringing these things up, or else are just more likely to be noticed in the first place.

So what’s a quiet, horn-shy person to do?

What Does Tooting Your Own Horn Mean?

To toot your own horn means to speak boastfully about yourself and your accomplishments. From the get-go, you can see the big problem with the phrase, and that’s the word “boastfully.” That’s the annoying part that we’re trying to help you avoid.

Tooting your own horn without being obnoxious is absolutely possible, but it requires some artistry, finesse, and practice. With too light a tough, nobody will even realize that you’re trying to tell them about your achievements. With too heavy a touch, a person will zone out and add you to their list of people to never get caught alone with on an elevator.

Whether you’re naturally extroverted and excited to talk about your work or introverted and would rather be left alone, it’s important to let your managers know when one of your projects is particularly successful.

As the saying goes, “the squeaky wheel gets the grease” — those who make it known how well they’re doing and how invested they are in the company have an easier time getting raises, promotions, and positive attention at work.

Even great managers can’t be aware of 100% of their employees’ work 100% of the time. And the goal with tooting your own horn isn’t to shine a light on all of your work. The goal of strategic bragging is to get your boss to notice areas where you excel and projects that excite you in the hopes of aligning your responsibilities with what you enjoy and are good at.

What’s Wrong With Tooting Your Own Horn?

Perhaps one of the biggest reasons people avoid promoting themselves to others is because doing so too frequently or unprompted can be a very bad look.

It’s easy to cross the line from healthy honesty about your own work into shameless self-aggrandizement, not least because that line is in different places for different people.

So why does talking about yourself tend to annoy the people around you so much?

• Makes coworkers feel bad. For one thing, it makes people feel like they themselves aren’t being fairly recognized when one person around them constantly puts themselves in the limelight.

• Makes you seem like a liar. If they don’t believe the bragger has actually done what they’re bragging about, it can seem like the person is a liar (on top of everything else).

• Makes it seem like you’re comparing skills. Braggarts, even those who only brag about things that they’ve done, tend to look at others in relation to themselves — often unfavorably.

• Makes you sound condescending. The previous point can lead to otherwise kind (if arrogant) people becoming condescending jerks who give rude, unprompted advice to others who don’t really care much in the first place.

How to Toot Your Own Horn Without Seeming Arrogant

Even for the conscientious, seeming like you’re braggadocious can be a tough perception to escape.

Fortunately, there are a few things that you can do to make yourself look good without seeming self-aggrandizing, and a few other things you might like to avoid.

To that end, here are a few dos and don’ts that might help you make up your mind about this.

Do:

• Compare against yourself. Try comparing your current accomplishments to your own older ones, rather than to the accomplishments of those around you. You want to be recognized based on your own merits — focusing on how much better or worse you are than everyone else will only serve to make people upset with you.

• Get input during great projects. This is a sneaky sort of self-promotion that’s quite effective. While you’re working on something that you’re particularly proud of, ask for your supervisor’s opinion on how you’re doing so far.

  In this sort of conversation, you can freely talk about what you’re excited about, what you feel is working, and what the results are/will be without any guilt over bragging.

  Good managers who recognize quality work will find this to be a natural time to compliment your work and take notice of areas where you excel. Be ready for a bit of feedback as well (that is why you initiated the conversation, after all), but if you’ve truly exceeded expectations, you should expect a bit of praise as well.

• Focus on the company’s success. If you must brag, focus more on the way that your actions have helped others or helped the company rather than focusing on how you did something impressive. That is to say, focus on the effect and not on the act itself.

• Accept compliments with professionalism. Make sure to take it well when you are lucky enough to receive praise. Be gracious and accepting, or people might feel as though your confidence is too low. It’s no fun to compliment someone who refuses to accept your compliments.

Don’t:

• Give unprompted advice. Particularly if part of that advice involves explaining the way that you’ve found success in the past. While it feels helpful, this can quickly seem like you’re just trying to show off.

• Overly embellish your accomplishments. And whatever you do, definitely don’t take credit for things that you didn’t actually accomplish. That’s the quickest and surest way to become widely hated.

• Be too modest, either. It’s one thing to try to stay humble — it’s another thing entirely to bring yourself down so much that others have no choice to either think your statements are disingenuous or (worse yet) to believe what you say about yourself.

Cooperative Tooting: How to Get Other People to Promote Your Accomplishments for You

Of course, no matter how hard you try to avoid it, it’s always possible that talking about yourself and your successes will look to someone else like you’re bragging.

Some people are just very sensitive to what seems like bragging from the people around them, or else are simply uninterested in hearing people talk about themselves regardless of the context.

Maybe they’re the sort of person that expects actions to speak for themselves, and so they’ll just never like hearing you bring up that cool thing you did this week, or that interesting solution you had for a problem you encountered.

If this person is your boss, that can make it particularly tough for you to remind them of how well you’re doing.

Instead, here are a few tactics you can try to entice other people to speak on your behalf:

• Give compliments. Try saying nice things about the people around you rather than waiting for them to compliment you on their own. If they feel like you’re more likely to say kind things about their work, they’ll be more likely to compliment yours.

  This is a more long-term approach, and you should wait for moments where you can genuinely and naturally give some kudos to a coworker or supervisor. When people feel recognized for their work, they’re more inclined to reciprocate and take note of the good work of those around them.

• Set public goals. Talk about things that are coming up or things you’d like to improve rather than things you’ve accomplished in the past (even if it’s the recent past). This will make you seem more like you’re interested in how your work affects the company as a whole and might make someone take a closer look at how your work is doing so.

• Ask for endorsements. If all else fails, ask your boss and coworkers for written testimonials. It’s normal enough to ask someone for references, so if you go through one at a time and ask people around you to verify your skills, sooner or later you’ll have a big portfolio of people saying nice things about you.

Final Thoughts

Hopefully, some of these tips will help you notice the differences in how others perceive people who talk about themselves.

After all, it isn’t that you shouldn’t do it — talking about yourself is healthy, and it helps other people find ways to connect with you.

But it’s important to remember that as good as it feels to receive praise, that’s pretty much how others feel about it too.

So if you want to be praised by others, the best tactic is just to try spreading some praise around yourself. You’d be surprised how quickly that kind of environment catches on.

Author

Ryan Morris

Ryan Morris was a writer for the Zippia Advice blog who tried to make the job process a little more entertaining for all those involved. He obtained his BA and Masters from Appalachian State University.