14 Easy Ways To Get Fired

At the beginning of any job, there’s always the intention of staying for awhile. Unfortunately, there are times when some jobs end up not being what you thought and you end up hating it.

If you wake up every morning thinking “God, I wish they would just fire me already,” you’re not alone. Some people hate their jobs but aren’t financially able to be unemployed by choice.

Getting fired gives you the possibility of getting a severance package or filing for unemployment, which can help with financial burdens while giving you time to find a new job.

14 Easy Ways to Get Fired

If you’re not worried about carrying around the stigma of being “that person who got fired,” we’ve got good news for you — getting fired is easier than you might think! Follow these 14 tips that are sure to help you lose your job.

1. Get to work late every day. This one’s a classic. Getting to work on time is for suck-ups and people who actually care about their jobs, right? In that case, why not hit your snooze button two or ten times?

   And while you’re at it, showing up with Starbucks in-hand will be that final touch for your nonchalant “I don’t care about working” look.

2. Take your time settling in. When you first get to your desk, take a few minutes or an hour or two to get really nestled in for the day. Drink your Starbucks, check your phone, watch a funny YouTube video or five.

   This will surely show your boss and your coworkers that you really have no commitment to getting any work done at all. Hey, at least you’re there, right?

3. Take really long lunches. Only an hour for lunch? And you don’t get paid? Who are they kidding? You’re no chump.

   Take as much time as you need to catch up with an old friend, take that perfect Instagram-worthy picture of your meal, and run a few errands. The office will still be there when you get back.

4. Drink at work. Have a drink or two while at lunch. Who cares if you come back to the office reeking of a brewery and can’t focus on your work, those chumps are just party poopers. After all, haters gonna hate — am I right?

5. Make a ton of personal phone calls. You spend about 8 hours at your job (on a good day). If you can’t make all of your personal calls to each of your friends throughout the day, when else are you going to be able to find the time?

   Just go ahead and knock out all of your phone calls at work. And while you’re at it, feel free to take your time chatting about the weather and such.

6. Make your customers or clients angry. Who cares what they think, they’re not the ones who sign off on your paycheck. Why are they so needy anyway?

   If you handle customers in person, just go ahead and ignore them and don’t answer their questions. They can find someone else who actually cares.

   If you speak with customers or clients mostly by phone, just keep your line busy so they can’t get through — and if they’re bold enough to leave you a message, just go ahead and erase that sucker and never return their calls.

7. Use the internet irresponsibly. Take your time scrolling through Facebook, Snapchat, Twitter, or whatever other social media millennials are into these days.
   Make sure to also send out lots of personal emails throughout the day using your work email address. Go ahead and download a bunch of music and movies to your work computer while you’re at it.

   And if you want to lose your job faster than you can say “I quit,” surf some adult websites! Those “NSFW” tags are just meant to ward off weenies who want to keep their jobs anyway.

8. Never offer to help your coworkers. What’s the point of going beyond your job description if you’re just trying to get fired anyway?

   Even if a project or assignment is down to the wire and your coworkers desperately need an extra set of hands, just watch from the sidelines and watch them sweat. After all, it’s not even your job.

9. Lie on your application or resume.This is a good route to take if you already know you want to get fired before you even start your job.

   You already know that your employers are going to look into the information you provide and hold you responsible for it, so what’s the point of telling the truth if you just want to leave after a few weeks anyway?

Being honest and forthcoming about your strengths and qualifications on your resume and cover letter basically just tells employers “I want to work here forever and never get fired.”

So if that’s not the case for you, you might as well just go ahead and load that bad boy up with a bunch of lies about your education and work experience.

10. Look for new jobs while you’re at work. If you’re looking for a new job and don’t mind getting fired from your current job, why not just go ahead and apply for other positions from your work computer?

    Feel free to send chat messages and emails to other employers or use them to tell your friends about how excited you are to get a new job.

    There’s a chance that your work computer and messages are being monitored, so this a great method to use to get fired if you don’t mind looking like a huge jerk.

11. Alienate your coworkers. To be able to do your job effectively, you’ll need the support and cooperation of your colleagues. So if you’re trying to get fired, it’s probably in your best interest to alienate them entirely and make them think that you hate them.

    What’s the best way to go about this? An easy way to get a head start is to become the office gossip and say mean things about all of your coworkers. Once you’ve detached yourself from everyone in the office, you’re sure to get kicked out of there and replaced by someone else. It’s a win-win for everyone!

12. Blame everyone for your mistakes. If you want to get fired from your job, blame everyone else for your mistakes. Not taking ownership for mistakes you’ve made or refusing to ask for help is a great way to show your employers that you’re completely undependable and untrustworthy.

    The truth about your mistakes will surface eventually, and they’ll end up biting you in the ass. But if you’re trying to lose your job, that’s only good news!

13. Incompetence. It may take a little longer, but if you constantly make high-profile mistakes, you’re going to get the ax eventually.
    Especially if you make different mistakes each time (so it’s not super obvious what you’re doing) and blame people above you in the corporate hierarchy – publically.

14. Wait for Layoffs. If you’re pretty sure lay-offs are coming for your department anyway, you can also just talk to your supervisor about being on the top of the lay-off list. It makes their lives easier and pretty much guarantees you’ll have no trouble getting on unemployment while you look for jobs.

Those 14 easy ways we outlined above certainly give your employer good cause for firing you, which means you won’t be eligible for unemployment. Some might even get you into legal trouble, so be careful before using any of those tips.

Is It Better to Quit or Be Fired?

Before doing anything, consider the benefits and the disadvantages of quitting versus getting fired.

• Quitting: Quitting looks better on your employment history.

• When explaining to an interviewer how you decided to quit, you get to control the narrative. That makes looking for a job a whole lot easier, especially in this job market. Additionally, you’ve got a better chance of receiving a good references letter if you quit as opposed to getting fired.

• When you go job-hunting, it’s much easier to tell a hiring manager or recruiter that you quit rather than were fired. Additionally, job applications will often ask “May we contact this employer,” and checking “no” too many times will be a red flag for recruiters.

• Getting fired: Being fired (for the right reasons) can help you get unemployment benefits more easily.

• Depending on the company policy, there’s a change of recieving a severance package pay if you are fired. Not all companies offer this, and depending on the circumstances of being fired you,might qualify for it.

• Getting fired for an especially bad reason (like those outlined above) pretty much guarantees you’ll never get a positive reference from your former employer.

How To Get Fired FAQ

1. Can I get unemployment if I quit?
   In most instances, people who voluntarily quit their jobs are not eligible to receive unemployment benefits. However, there is an exception for workers who leave their jobs with good cause.

2. Can I randomly get fired?
   Yes, unfortunately it can happen to anyone. Your employer can just dismiss a person any time, but if they do it unfairly you can challenge the dismissal.

3. Can I say I quit if I get fired?
   Yes, you can say anything you want in your application, but just know that some employers will check to see. Its best not to lie about the reasons you were fired. Its better for your reputation to tell the truth.

Final Thoughts

If your new job isn’t working out and you’re confident in your ability to find a new, better job without too much hassle, then you should consider simply quitting your job and moving on with your life without burning any bridges.

If quitting and ending on a peaceful note just isn’t an option and you’d rather go out with a bang and cause a ruckus, well, now you know what to do.

And on the other hand, if you’re super in love with your job and want to stay there forever, now you know all the mistakes you should avoid making so you can keep your dream job. We here at Zippia like to help everyone.

Author

Maddie Lloyd

Maddie Lloyd was a writer for the Zippia Advice blog focused on researching tips for interview, resume, and cover letter preparation. She's currently a graduate student at North Carolina State University's department of English concentrating in Film and Media Studies.