11 Tips To Stop Crying At Work

Oh, emotions. Sometimes they’re hard to control, and sometimes they take control of us.

If you find yourself getting choked up at work — don’t panic! Follow these steps to learn how to stop crying at work and what you can do if you just can’t hold it all in.

Key Takeaways:

• Sometimes we cry because we get stressed out, or have an awful or abrasive boss, and other times we’re just dealing with our own personal turmoil.

• If you have a feeling you are about to cry, take a deep breath and remove yourself from the situation if you don’t want to cry in front of others.

• If someone sees you crying, just be honest about the situation, we are only human and have emotions.

11 Tips to Stop Crying at Work

1. Take a deep breath. If you get overwhelmed or upset at work, try to refocus your attention on your breathing. When we get upset, we often don’t let air in and out of our bodies properly — then our breath gets trapped and creates tension. Being aware of your breathing will help you relax physically and mentally.

   When you feel the tears starting to come, slowly take a deep breath through your nose and exhale through your mouth and count to ten. Counting will help you focus solely on your breathing and not what’s making you want to cry.

   Even just taking a single deep breath can stabilize you when you want to cry. Take one big deep breath in, hold it for a moment, and let it all out. This will ease your mind and give you a moment to pause before you have to deal with what’s making you upset.

2. Remove yourself from the situation. If you get the chance to put some space between yourself and what’s making you feel stressed or overwhelmed, it’s probably a good idea to take advantage of that opportunity.

   Take a step back, give yourself a moment for your emotions to cool down, and heck, watch a funny YouTube video if you need to.

   If possible, you might want to avoid scheduling meetings or events that could potentially make you upset until after your emotions have settled. What’s worse than crying at work? Crying at work twice in one day.

3. Distract yourself with pain or humor. Sometimes a simple distraction can make your tears vanish into thin air. You could bite the inside of your cheek, dig a fingernail into your palm, or you could try a crowd favorite — pinching the skin between your thumb and index finger really hard!

   If you’re not into the whole causing-yourself-mild-pain-to-distract-yourself thing, you could hold an ice cube to your wrist to get your attention off of your emotions.

   If you don’t have a plethora of ice cubes at your disposal, you could run your hand under really cold water. Whatever works to change the focus of your attention and avoid a waterfall of emotions.

   If none of these tricks work for you, maybe you could revisit that funny YouTube video we mentioned earlier. Making yourself laugh is a great way to get your mind off of your sad feelings.

4. Use props to your advantage. If you have a meeting coming up that you know might send your tear ducts into a frenzy, take a few steps to prepare by coming up with a prop to distract yourself or to hide your tears if you just can’t hold it in.

   Bring a piece of paper or a notebook to have in front of you or to hold in your hands. If you feel yourself getting all choked up, look down with the pretense of taking notes or reading.

5. Let yourself get angry. Sometimes anger manifests itself as tears. This is unfortunate because crying when you’re angry can cause people to not take your concerns and feelings seriously.

   This is an issue that generally affects women more so than men — as children, girls typically aren’t socialized to express anger or engage in conflict, whereas boys are constantly told not to cry.

   Being comfortable with being angry, expressing our anger (in a form other than tears), and engaging in conflict can lead to less crying in the future.

6. Try out different coping mechanisms. Take note of what your immediate reaction is when you get upset and try out a new process of dealing with your negative feelings. If you start to pick up on patterns — like getting teary before meetings with your boss — try to address your feelings beforehand to cope with them.

   If a certain kind of music calms you down, try listening to a playlist for 15 minutes before tough meetings. Make sure to only listen to music that actually calms you down — if your favorite song is “My Heart Will Go On” by Celine Dion, you probably don’t want to listen to that when you’re trying to avoid getting all worked up.

   If your emotions are just too strong, your breathing methods or coping mechanisms have failed you, and you just can’t hold it in — take advantage of the tips below to get through your tears without drawing too much attention to yourself.

7. Keep moving forward. When you don’t have the opportunity to remove yourself from the situation that’s made you upset, just try to push through and keep working.

   Sometimes tears come up when we’re trying to suppress them, so just continue talking or working, and you’ll find that your tears will dwindle after a few seconds.

8. Just ignore it. Drawing attention to your tears makes people uncomfortable. It also makes people feel like they have an obligation to comfort you or respond in some way. Yeesh, talk about awkward.

   An easy solution is as simple as it sounds — just ignore it! If you don’t acknowledge the fact that you’re crying or bring attention to it, everyone else will ignore it too. Hey, they might not even notice. Everyone wins!

9. Lie about it. Crying at work is one of those situations where honesty isn’t the best policy. If you can’t hold back your tears, just make a comment like, “Gosh, my contacts are irritating me so much. No wonder, I’ve been wearing them for over a year!”

   Regardless of whether or not anyone believes you, a white lie gives you and your co-workers a way to move past your tears without making things awkward.

10. Or just be honest about the situation. Sometimes the best way to get rid of our sad feelings is to just be straightforward about them. Just say something along the lines of, “I’m embarrassed that I’ve teared up, but I find it difficult to discuss this subject.” and move on with your conversation.

    Don’t spend too much time trying to explain why you’re upset, or people might think you’re looking for sympathy or trying to be manipulative. Plus, you might just end up making yourself upset all over again.

    If there’s a topic of conversation that you know will come up at work that particularly upsets you, you might want to plan ahead and rehearse what you’ll say should a few tears come up.

11. Use your tears to show that you’re passionate about your job. If you can’t hold back the tears at work, whether your sad feelings are work-related or personal, make them evidence of your passion for your work.

    Should you get upset at work, make a statement that goes something like, “I’m not upset because I can’t handle my emotions, but because I’m so emotionally invested in this project that it upsets me when things don’t go well.”

    This will give you the chance to address your tears and promptly move past them, while also showing your boss or coworkers that you’re committed and invested in your work.

How to Avoid Crying at Work

Before we get into tips on how to stop crying in the moment, let’s cover a few ways to prepare and avoid scenarios that cause you to tear up altogether. Here are five common scenarios and what to do in each:

1. The condescending coworker. If you have a difficult coworker who’s always talking down to you, it’s best to address the situation head-on. Try talking to them privately and express how you feel using “I” statements so you don’t come off as accusatory.

   Often, someone you perceive as an office bully has no idea how their words or actions were affecting you.

   If the person is a real jerk, you might need a third-party, like an HR rep, to step in and mediate. If there’s really no fixing the relationship, you might be able to arrange a situation where you barely have to interact with them.

2. The massive workload. An overburdened schedule and too many work tasks can quickly lead to burnout. To avoid a meltdown where crying is inevitable, talk to your boss about changing things up. Maybe you can lighten your workload, contract out some of your more tedious work, or arrange for a more flexible schedule.

3. The work mistake. Sometimes a big work error can feel like the end of the world. It’s important that you address the problem as soon as you’re made aware of it, but also take a second to step back and evaluate the situation. Also, notify anyone else that will be affected by your error.

   Being flustered will only compound your emotions and cause you to make more mistakes, so stay calm and focus on the task at hand rather than your embarrassment.

4. The bad boss. At least with a condescending coworker, you can turn to your boss for help. But when your boss is causing the problem, it can be tough to address the situation. Try scheduling a one-on-one meeting if you feel a conversation could help.

   If that doesn’t work to improve your relationship with your boss, you can talk to someone in HR, ask about transferring departments, or start looking for a new job. It depends on how horrible your boss really is and how much you have to interact with them.

5. The personal issue. We know this isn’t a work-related reason, but if an issue outside of work is causing you to get emotional every day, multiple times a day, it might be time to talk to your boss about it. You might be able to take stress leave or figure out a remote work arrangement for a while.

   In any case, consider seeking the help of a mental health professional to learn coping methods that can work for you in the long-term.

Crying at Work FAQ

• Is Crying at Work Okay?

  Yes, an occasional and appropriately-timed cry at work is not the worst or most embarrassing thing.

  While a recent survey showed that one-third of workers responded that crying at work was never okay and would make people perceive you as weak, most people agreed that it’s okay from time to time. Additionally, 45% of respondents said that they had cried at work at least once.

  People generally agree that certain things like divorce, bereavement, and job loss are all situations where tears are perceived as natural.

  However, when crying is brought on by work-related matters, people’s sympathy goes way down. It can ultimately hurt your career prospects if you’re seen as someone who starts crying at the drop of a hat.

• Is it OKAY to cry in front of your boss?

  Yes, Its OKAY to cry in front of your boss. It is healthier to let it out than to hold it in. Sometimes crying can show that you are just human and have emotions sometimes. Your boss will understand.

  People tend to get emotional about the things that they are passionate about, and if a project you’re passionate about is not going well, it’s OKAY to cry.

• How do you deal with someone crying at work?

  When someone is crying at work, its important to remain calm and not to overreact. People have emotions and sometimes they become overwhelmed and cry. If you encounter someone who is crying at work you should note the trigger that is causing them to cry and not overreact to whatever it is.

  You don’t want to pity or try to fix the situation if you can’t. Sometimes all they need is for you to sit and comfort them. If the situation is something that can be fixed, calmly help them address the situation and show them that it is okay.

Final Thoughts

Unless you’re some sort of psychopathic unemotional monster, we’ve all found ourselves fighting back tears at some point in our lives. It just gets even more difficult at a place like work where crying is stigmatized and seen as a sign of weakness.

If you find yourself trying not to cry at work, just use these helpful tips and take control of your emotions. Don’t be too hard on yourself — you’ve got what it takes to handle the situation and move on like a professional.

Author

Maddie Lloyd

Maddie Lloyd was a writer for the Zippia Advice blog focused on researching tips for interview, resume, and cover letter preparation. She's currently a graduate student at North Carolina State University's department of English concentrating in Film and Media Studies.